moro Adonis

auburn eyes flecked with grey
pink rosebud lips
button for a nose
dimples
soft silky brown hair cascading down the shoulders


I think this is how I will remember you for the rest of your life.

Found on the office coffee machine

Instant human. Just add coffee!!!

Interesting Read

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/05/60minutes/main4502454.shtml

Quirky?? Who me??

Ofcourse I have no quirks.I am so purrrfect. :D.So Vini just for you I m going to make up a few ahem...quirks
1)I always tilt my head. Mostly to the right. Sometimes to the left
2)I need to switch off lights when I dont see any one in the room. Any room
3)The first thing I do when I step into my house is open out the windows. Let the light in. Also the first thing in the morning. I feel claustrophobic in spaces where no natural light is being let in.Except at night
4)I swim real well.But I cant do the dead mans float. Its the fear of drowning that makes me all rigid:D
5)Doors need to be shut.Else I walk around closing them
6)I will always eat something different at a restaurant if I frequent it and work my way through the menu. Then stick to what I liked best.

So Atticus- care to take up the tag?

A Penny for my Thoughts

Man is surely a social animal. He always seeks out like minded people and cushioned in a womb of collective agreement on various issues gauges his life’s success. Which of course depends on how much people like him like him. Every one else with a different opinion is an outsider out to get this 'community' with its perceived sense of belonging. To be dealt with anger, arrogance, contempt or ifs a kinder soul with a patronizing attitude. We ve seen these 'ties that bind' as kids in school, then college, then workplaces, then society in general and have lived with it for ever. Or heard of it and ignored it as a fact of life... Birds of a feather... anyone?? Now I read about it in blogs. Where people have created their own virtual personalities and have started believing in it. Where not everyone is a writer but writes. And yet where people are not forgiving of the 'perceived' tone of the post. Where cliques of people take up for their virtual comrades in arms. Where the concept of personal space is recognized only when preceded with a 'my' and lines between concern and voyeurism are startlingly blurred.
The thing is when people write they are more transparent than when they speak. They don’t have their audience right in front of them to temper the language or clarify if something is lost in translation. So when I see seemingly well heeled individuals reveal their intolerant prejudiced self in the name of expressing an opinion or standing up for someone it scares me. Of the many masks we wear the global tolerant yuppie is one we love the most but when our guard is down do we like us so much?

Err....I m Indian (???)

Ever since I ve moved to the US both Americans and non Americans find it very difficult to place me. I mean I look as Indian as everyone I know except I guess when I had carrot red and blonde hair. Yes in India. Yes I thought it looked kewl.No my parents didnt throw me out.Because I had already moved out :D . But I digress. Most of my conversations with Americans go such

Random person: So ur a Latina
Me: No I m not hispanic
Random person: No, I didnt mean mexican. Latina meaning from the south Americas
Me: No, I m indian
Random Person: Ah, would nt have guessed you re a native
Me: Well what I mean is that I am from India
Random person: Wow. But you dont have the accent u know. The indian accent
Me(amused): So I have the accent of people from South Americas
Random person: No. Its jst different. Like nuthing I ve heard before
Me( shudder since I make a living off speaking and making people like me) : And thats bad?
Random person: Oh no its good...definately good
Me(to myself): Need to slow down on the tequilla shots and call a cab for him/her

As for the Indians here i.e. ppl from India its no simple

Random person(first time we meet): Ah so ur from the north
Me: No not really I m from err...the coast
Random person: Funny ur name sounds nothern and u so look from the north
Me: Well I ve lived in Mumbai all my life
Random person: So ur a Marathi
Me: No I m a Konkani
Random person: Ah, So ur from Goa
Me: Well sorta but Karnataka mite be more accurate
Random person: So where in Karnataka?
and so it goes on

what I fail to understand is how exactly is my nationality or language important for people to relate to me. And why oh why should I find 'tanned white?' or 'lighter skinned Afro American?' flattering?

For the Americans its curiosity I guess which is reserved for everything Non american. Like Tandoori chicken.And no one asks me these questions the first time I meet them or the second.Its generally when we make small talk over martinis.
But with the desis its a whole different ball game.

Disclaimer: This applies to Indians who have left the motherland about 8+ years ago.Again it applies to the mid west part of America where I ve mostly lived. The east and west coasts from what I hear have more Indians and consequently more complex regional divides. Desis who come in for a short stint tend to hang out with people from the same company and are excluded from the great insight I am about to provide.Also this mainly reflects attempts at couple socialising with Indians; u know when u as a couple want to meet other couples so that you can have common friends. Both mine and the Doc s friends are distributed in every state in the US except where we are right now.So we need some new Indian friends other than the American friends we have. So that we can discuss Bansalis new films.Such is life.Also it applies to what I ve been through in the couple of years here and ofcourse may not be the experience you ve had. In which case u ve been luckier

From what little I understand there are two kinds of desis here. The ones that studied here and the ones that migrated for work.

Now for people who migrated here for work depending on which city you originally hail from you tend to group together. Except if you are from the metros. Because then you need to choose. For example if you are a South Indian from Delhi you need to chose if you want to hang out with South Indians or the Delhites or both. Again within the South Indian clan its the Kanadigas, Tamilians and Gults as separates and god forbid you speak of them in the same breath. And the longer the people have lived here the more rigid they are in their disdain towards the other communities. The last city I lived in had separate North Indian and South Indian pujaris in the temple. And last I knew since the South Indian pujari was a Kanadiga, the Gults wanted to get another one. As such I ve only been there once on a day when no community had anything planned. Such days are hard to come by.And the Gurudwara is more welcoming.

If you ve studied here then the only difference is that you may make friends of different communities while in school or stay in touch with old class mates back home.So you may move across the various community groups.Again thats entirely at your discretion since you do have the regional committees like Marathi mandal etc to interact with.Also as years pass and people shift jobs and locations its again back to the community groups.

They tell me its beacuse when you move to a different country/city you first look for a support network which more likely than not will be known friends or family from India and their contacts. And again its about having common things(past?) to speak about. So people from Mumbai stick together and party together because they ofcourse are cooler than everyone around.The Delhites find that amusing:p

For the relatively new people i.e. less than 8 years its slightly different. Mainly because India has supposedly evolved now. With people living out of suitcases, travelling across cities for studies/jobs we ve learnt to adapt(?), understand and form a network of people independant of regional and religious differences. But again to a large extent this will be a group of people belonging to the same school/city in India.

So to sum it a vagrant me can not have a social life with Indians without pledging my solidarity to a particular city/language. Unless I have friends from back home/school here. Which I do but not where I now live.Or if I play cricket which ofcourse is the great equilizer. Because I m not marathi enough, south indian or north indian enough. Because I dont want to discuss my personal life, my salary, my rent, my wardrobe and my visa status with all and sundry.Funny I never did think of all places the US would be where I get my lesson in regional discrimination. Because I never did see it back in India. Or maybe I was just blind. Or stupid. Or both.And yes it sucks to be a social pariah among Indians because you dont really want to sit and crack jokes about other communities over samosas

Friends and family who ve lived here for many many years tell me I need to give in. Identify an Indian community I feel most kin to. So now we hang out with the singles.You know the kind that only worries about their next dinner and drink. Now that is something I can identify with:D

The day of Judgement

“Criticism, as it was first instituted by Aristotle, was meant as a standard of judging well”
- Samuel Johnson

So keeping in line with Aristotle s thoughts I intend to criticize certain mostly human traits in this post. This btw is a tag from Atticus who is one of the five people aware of this blog. The safety the anonymity can offer has nothing to do with the viciousness of the judgmental outlook. I generally walk around with my claws unsheathed. But this is a difficult tag for me. What with my supreme nonchalance towards life and people in general I had to dig real deep to find the prejudice and now spew I will.

They look down their long noses on people who don’t read. I am well read. Or rather was before I got too busy doing things I hadn’t done the last 25 years of my life. And yes I can discuss any book under the sun and enjoy doing it. But that does not give me the right to look down on people who dont read. It is just a activity like say surf boarding and while one supposedly builds character, building muscles is not bad too. I am tired of people behaving condescendingly to the non reading guys. Well people read something because you enjoy it not because its a conversation starter. And definitely not for the halo you think it gives you on the top of your head.

They obsess over others appearance. A friend has put on weight and the whole world takes it upon them selves to compare her to a baby elephant on a public forum. Why does everyone have a say on our appearance? It s my body, my style of dressing, my hair. You don’t really have to look if you don’t like it. Well privately voicing concerns over weight and dressing is obviously much appreciated but humiliating someone and drawing comparison with pigs in heels even if well intentioned (??) sucks

They think invading your private space is their birth right and they just wont take no for an answer. Nothing is too private for them. I usually smile and tell them to take a hike and yes I do get a lot of flak for this. But I resent the asking. My personal life is just that personal. I am very guarded about it and I have friends and family who I discuss it with. But if your not one of them I ll let you know and you don’t have to take it personally

They never feel strongly about anything. They move with the flow and wait for someone else to take a stand. They will talk about their grievances with everyone except talk about it with the very person they have an issue with. They are the wait and watch guys. They generate enough emotion in me to want to bodily harm them

They insist that their actions were to help someone along or due to pressure from someone else. This gives me a laugh. I believe that everyone ultimately chooses to do something because deep down they agree with it. These very people chose to keep justifying their actions. As long as you stick with discussing what works for you that s fine. But when you start pulling others down for their decisions I just think you wished you were in their shoes

They tell me I eat meat and so cannot love animals. By that logic I drink water and so must hate rain. Yeah I know the metaphor is pathetic and so is the aforementioned reasoning

They think everyone except them has had it easy. They either think they are shining pillars of strength and sacrifice or turn into sniveling moping individuals. And they thrive on public sympathy. Just because someone doesn’t discuss their problems it does not mean they ve had an easy ride. And if you’re fighting your demons you are doing it for yourself and that is a selfish reason. If you are sacrificing for your family you owe it to them. So be proud of it. Don’t expect me to be proud of it or sympathize with you. I have my hands full with my issues

I of course have a lot more to add so let’s call it a work in progress. All this purging is making it more and more difficult to hide those horns and that spiked tail :D